Learning to Earnestly Wait
{written by Lindsey}
We've been waiting for years. Waiting to see how the Lord would work in our family. Waiting to see His plan for us. Waiting for what we thought was fulfillment (but really just wanting our dreams to come true). Waiting for the right time. We were waiting. We are still waiting.
Waiting is hard, especially when there is no end in sight or [if i'm being completely honest] it feels like you're being wronged by the waiting. I've had those feelings. I had no understanding of what the waiting was for. Instead of looking at what good could come in the waiting, I was disappointed and sad. I knew that the desires of my heart weren't wrong but they were, in fact, mine. I wasn't pouring it out to God saying "Lord, your will be done and though I want our family to grow desperately, I want to serve you more and glorify you in every season." Nope, I wasn't there. Neither of us were. We needed some time to wait.
Time gave us the chance to fail in our waiting so that we could understand that God is our only refuge and comfort and that His plan is perfect for us. When we look back at the timing He has provided thus far in our relationship, we can see that He is perfectly orchestrating a beautiful plan for us. Did we always see it in the moment. Oh please... not at all. In fact now, though we are in a place of peace and hope that we thank God for, we are certainly not perfectly comfortable in the waiting.
I like things to be neat and tidy and I like to check things off the list and I do it when I can! Our caseworker even said that we were one of the faster families to turn everything in and get the ball rolling. My sinful pride swelled to hear her basically say "good work" but I know that it only happened so smoothly because we are being guided by God's plan. If it wasn't the right time, it wouldn't have been such a joyful and "clean" process (at least that's what we believe!). The Lord has shown us great mercy in the collection of data, the time we have been able to spend together thinking about all the questions we were asked for our application, preparing the house for our home visit and giving us the hearts to really turn this process over to Him. It's been a process that has been covered in prayer and we are thankful for those who love us enough to be praying with us.
I read something months ago now, it was about waiting. With a title like "how to wait for God to move in your life", I was skeptical because I don't expect God to do anything for me. [As a point of clarification: I expect Him to be consistent with his character and to fulfill the promises to whom He made them BUT I don't think that makes him a wish granter.] I was pleased as I was reading, that it wasn't so much about the moving but instead how to wait. The author points to waiting as being a passive word in its meaning but that passively waiting does nothing to further the kingdom of God. He encourages the reader to do a few things but the first was to "Earnestly Wait." He says "The person who earnestly waits is someone who doesn't sit around but acts. Someone who prays, who goes out and does everything they can with the situation God has put them in, and whose heart is filled with hope knowing that no matter what happens, God will answer in His timing." That doesn't mean that the answer will be what I want, but He will answer. I found such encouragement in this push to be earnest in life's waiting. Why should we waste this precious life we have been given dwelling on thoughts of tomorrow?
After months, if not years of what felt like defeated waiting I gave up. Well, I guess I should say I gave IT up, handed it over and realized that as hard as I try, I just can't make it through the waiting alone. Rob and I have been able to see the change in our hearts, our relationship with one another and that the hope that we have for a certain outcome in this adoption journey won't define the joy we have in God's plan for us.
We are trucking on, still waiting but doing it earnestly and trying to live our life according to His will. We aren't perfect by any means but we are working on trusting and growing in our knowledge of Him. We are being earnest in many ways through this waiting: We are praying for our children (our boys and any kids we might have in the future), we are memorizing scripture, we are working on our home so that it would be the best place to raise our children and live as a family, and we have even prepared a small space for a baby as something physical to look at to signify hope!
As if on cue (thank you Jesus for laying it on his heart!), Hunter just started singing "you have broken every chain, there's salvation in your name, Jesus Christ our living hope!!" Amen buddy.
I pray (and I know I can speak for Rob on this one) that through our earnest waiting, God would be glorified.
"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father."
We've been waiting for years. Waiting to see how the Lord would work in our family. Waiting to see His plan for us. Waiting for what we thought was fulfillment (but really just wanting our dreams to come true). Waiting for the right time. We were waiting. We are still waiting.
Waiting is hard, especially when there is no end in sight or [if i'm being completely honest] it feels like you're being wronged by the waiting. I've had those feelings. I had no understanding of what the waiting was for. Instead of looking at what good could come in the waiting, I was disappointed and sad. I knew that the desires of my heart weren't wrong but they were, in fact, mine. I wasn't pouring it out to God saying "Lord, your will be done and though I want our family to grow desperately, I want to serve you more and glorify you in every season." Nope, I wasn't there. Neither of us were. We needed some time to wait.
Time gave us the chance to fail in our waiting so that we could understand that God is our only refuge and comfort and that His plan is perfect for us. When we look back at the timing He has provided thus far in our relationship, we can see that He is perfectly orchestrating a beautiful plan for us. Did we always see it in the moment. Oh please... not at all. In fact now, though we are in a place of peace and hope that we thank God for, we are certainly not perfectly comfortable in the waiting.
I like things to be neat and tidy and I like to check things off the list and I do it when I can! Our caseworker even said that we were one of the faster families to turn everything in and get the ball rolling. My sinful pride swelled to hear her basically say "good work" but I know that it only happened so smoothly because we are being guided by God's plan. If it wasn't the right time, it wouldn't have been such a joyful and "clean" process (at least that's what we believe!). The Lord has shown us great mercy in the collection of data, the time we have been able to spend together thinking about all the questions we were asked for our application, preparing the house for our home visit and giving us the hearts to really turn this process over to Him. It's been a process that has been covered in prayer and we are thankful for those who love us enough to be praying with us.
I read something months ago now, it was about waiting. With a title like "how to wait for God to move in your life", I was skeptical because I don't expect God to do anything for me. [As a point of clarification: I expect Him to be consistent with his character and to fulfill the promises to whom He made them BUT I don't think that makes him a wish granter.] I was pleased as I was reading, that it wasn't so much about the moving but instead how to wait. The author points to waiting as being a passive word in its meaning but that passively waiting does nothing to further the kingdom of God. He encourages the reader to do a few things but the first was to "Earnestly Wait." He says "The person who earnestly waits is someone who doesn't sit around but acts. Someone who prays, who goes out and does everything they can with the situation God has put them in, and whose heart is filled with hope knowing that no matter what happens, God will answer in His timing." That doesn't mean that the answer will be what I want, but He will answer. I found such encouragement in this push to be earnest in life's waiting. Why should we waste this precious life we have been given dwelling on thoughts of tomorrow?
After months, if not years of what felt like defeated waiting I gave up. Well, I guess I should say I gave IT up, handed it over and realized that as hard as I try, I just can't make it through the waiting alone. Rob and I have been able to see the change in our hearts, our relationship with one another and that the hope that we have for a certain outcome in this adoption journey won't define the joy we have in God's plan for us.
We are trucking on, still waiting but doing it earnestly and trying to live our life according to His will. We aren't perfect by any means but we are working on trusting and growing in our knowledge of Him. We are being earnest in many ways through this waiting: We are praying for our children (our boys and any kids we might have in the future), we are memorizing scripture, we are working on our home so that it would be the best place to raise our children and live as a family, and we have even prepared a small space for a baby as something physical to look at to signify hope!
As if on cue (thank you Jesus for laying it on his heart!), Hunter just started singing "you have broken every chain, there's salvation in your name, Jesus Christ our living hope!!" Amen buddy.
I pray (and I know I can speak for Rob on this one) that through our earnest waiting, God would be glorified.
"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father."
Colossians 1:9-12a
"Noah waited 120 years. Abraham waited 25 years. Jacob waited 20 years. Joseph waited 13 years. Moses waited 40 years. David waited 12 years. Jesus waited 30 years."
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