Let's Start at the Very Beginning
It's a funny thing to sit down and type up our decision to adopt. It's not something that happened precisely and all at once the way a blog post tends to be composed. It was something that started years ago, before Hunter was even born. The seed was planted then and has taken years to grow. I have always had a heart for it and Rob has always had a connection to it (his mom is adopted) so we both knew the beauty and weight of the decision, but it wasn't an immediate yes for us.
First, the technicalities:
Over the past 8+ months Rob and I have had so many conversations and spent tons of time in prayer while doing SO much research. The way our relationship works (in most situations including this one) is that I am the researcher. I read and sift through the abundance of materials available about a topic and then once I have learned about all the options, I present them to Rob and we talk through the pared down information. It's just the way we think as individuals - I like the big BIG picture and Rob likes to think about the actual information that pertains to our situation, whatever that may be. So that's how we started this process, I hopped on google, we talked to friends who have experienced this process and so much information was taken in.
Our next step was going to two orientations. The first one left us feeling pretty disheartened... we want to trust in The Lord to grow our family in whatever way He chooses and there were lots of stipulations about pregnancy during the adoption process at the first agency. It was also very expensive. We are not naive to the fact that this is a costly process but it was a very high fee structure and they didn't have a "pause button" on their process. In other words, if anything went wrong or we decided to pause or wait on adoption because something drastic happened within our family, we would lose all the money up to that point... a number possibly north of ten thousand. That wasn't something that we could financially risk. So with those and other factors putting up some red flags for us, we moved on. We took a break, looked into many agencies both local and nationwide and then through a facebook group about adoption I was turned onto the agency we ultimately chose. It's small and though they don't do many adoptions per year we felt that statistically it was close to the larger agency we had visited. Most importantly we felt much more comfortable with the one-on-one orientation we were offered instead of being one of about 45 people in a room at our first experience. The woman was warm, friendly, answered ALL our questions and left us feeling very positive and hopeful. She is also the person who will be handling our case and we loved that the process will likely start and end with one caseworker. We trust that these "gut feelings" were from The Lord and He placed both of these experiences in our adoption path for a reason. He has been so faithful to us over the past 13 years of our relationship and we know he won't stop now.
"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us." 1 John 5:14
First, the technicalities:
Over the past 8+ months Rob and I have had so many conversations and spent tons of time in prayer while doing SO much research. The way our relationship works (in most situations including this one) is that I am the researcher. I read and sift through the abundance of materials available about a topic and then once I have learned about all the options, I present them to Rob and we talk through the pared down information. It's just the way we think as individuals - I like the big BIG picture and Rob likes to think about the actual information that pertains to our situation, whatever that may be. So that's how we started this process, I hopped on google, we talked to friends who have experienced this process and so much information was taken in.
Our next step was going to two orientations. The first one left us feeling pretty disheartened... we want to trust in The Lord to grow our family in whatever way He chooses and there were lots of stipulations about pregnancy during the adoption process at the first agency. It was also very expensive. We are not naive to the fact that this is a costly process but it was a very high fee structure and they didn't have a "pause button" on their process. In other words, if anything went wrong or we decided to pause or wait on adoption because something drastic happened within our family, we would lose all the money up to that point... a number possibly north of ten thousand. That wasn't something that we could financially risk. So with those and other factors putting up some red flags for us, we moved on. We took a break, looked into many agencies both local and nationwide and then through a facebook group about adoption I was turned onto the agency we ultimately chose. It's small and though they don't do many adoptions per year we felt that statistically it was close to the larger agency we had visited. Most importantly we felt much more comfortable with the one-on-one orientation we were offered instead of being one of about 45 people in a room at our first experience. The woman was warm, friendly, answered ALL our questions and left us feeling very positive and hopeful. She is also the person who will be handling our case and we loved that the process will likely start and end with one caseworker. We trust that these "gut feelings" were from The Lord and He placed both of these experiences in our adoption path for a reason. He has been so faithful to us over the past 13 years of our relationship and we know he won't stop now.
"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:22-24
Now for the heart of the matter:
We think children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). We believe that as Christians we have been adopted by God, the most faithful Father (2 Corinthians 6:18). We believe that as God has adopted us and as he cares deeply for the fatherless, we too can open our hearts according to His will and be a family to the lonely (Psalm 68:5-6). I could leave it there... but if you know me, you know I won't!
Our heart is for children. Our home could be filled to the brim and it could be absolute chaos and we would be thrilled. We have always prayed for a large family after coming from small families ourselves. There is beauty in family of any size, but we personally hope for an overflowing dining room table. I know that the world sees big families as strange these days and it may not be for everyone but we believe that The Lord has laid it on our hearts to be open to the craziness and grow as He sees fit.
There are also social issues that have lead us here. I won't get into the politics of any of it but we feel that if we can be of help through adoption to even one birth mother and her child, then we will have made an impact in the way that we can as a family. Life is a gift and a precious responsibility and we are already praying for the woman that will make a choice that ends with a baby in our arms and not hers. We see the weight in her decision, we understand the giant gift it would be to our family and the protection God would have given our future child. I know we will never be able to thank the woman who chose us, through adoption, for our future son or daughter, but we will try our best by providing a loving and stable home.
Finally, this isn't a decision that came from a place of infertility or an inability to have our own children. We find such joy in the children that God has given us. Our boys are precious to us and if The Lord gifts us with another pregnancy that won't stop us from pursuing adoption. For us, it isn't "one or the other" but instead "which comes next." On the other hand, if The Lord sees to keep us as a family of four forever, then His will be done. That's not to say we wouldn't be disappointed for a time but we have full trust in God's faithful provision.
We are working hard to live in the moment and not miss a second with our boys (they are growing so quickly!!) as we go through this process. God has truly given us His peace. We are excited and nervous while feeling solid about this whole decision. If we could ask anything from you, it would be that you would pray for us as we navigate all that comes with the process. We have paperwork to complete, a home study to finalize and then the waiting begins. If you would like to lift us up in these early stages, we would be SO thankful.
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